school

fresh mans.........................................................so anoing
one pushed me down the stairs
just have to get back up and try to not fall again.
what i did?
i do not know.
what he got from pushing me?
i hi- 5 from some guys watching it happen.
what did i hear all threw the halls
"she isn't dead yet?
"y doesn't she just die already"
constant reminders of how much they don't like me
constant reminder of what little value my life holds to thees ppl

i have yet to meet some one who has looked me in the eyes, said it to my face,and walk away.
they all r cowards
sometimes in my mind
where i tend to b half the time,
i imagine a world free of color.
whee every thing is still.
where nothing makes a sound.
and i close my eyes and go away from that world
back into mine.
where all i c r colors blended together .
so many colors that my head spines, my heart raises, my eyes dilate,and i feel an attack,
i hold my self so i wont go limp
i tell my self over and over again
"no not now!not here!
breath breath! calm down dont pass out!
dont scream dont scream dont cry!
hold ur self dont bight ur lip to hard ull bleed!
hold the pain !its almost over hold hold hold!open your eyes!!"
and i find my self in my mind
in that world of silence and no colors. shutting my eyes tigth
taisting something iron-e in my mouth.
im bleeding again
open my eyes and ppl fling them selves away
biohazerd the freshman's call me................no anoing......

my rant of the day=~=