no need to fear
death is near
they gave me a time
the day is almost here
will i survive?
will my heart run out of power and then just stop
will i just calaps and die?
will i be in agany as i take my last couple of breaths?
the time is almost here
the day they all told me not to fear
cuz they say i might survive
but they just have lost thier minds
i feel its time
thier the ones who r reluctent to let me go
this thin worn out red string that conects us all to the heart.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
im alive?
i was in the red zone for 3 weeks..
i couldn't leave that dam hospital..
I'm getting tired of thus
is it rely worth it?
i saw so much in those 3w weeks
they felt like years
at one point the Dr said i was in a coma
my organs stopped functioning for 3.4 min.
I'm peeing purple
i was dead!!
but I'm alive?
death felt much better
it was like if a wait was taken off my shoulders
i woke up kicking
i was tyring to catch my self
it hurt so much
when i was younger the Dr said death wouldn't hurt
that it would take me and surround me like a blanket...he never told me what it was like to come back
he never said the blanket was the darkest feeling you could feel
i felt so alone
like it took a little peace of me
like my freedom of choice wasn't mine
it took what made me human
the feeling was so unbearable
it felt like a pouch in the gut that knocked me off my feet
i woke up kicking trying to catch my self
i was in the same hospital bed, the same painting on the wall ,the same feeling of hopelessness.
the white walls that surrounded me seamed to b trapping me.
i chocked on the tube in my mouth . the nurses came in after i had knocked down the iv
i didn't understand what was going on i thought i was still dead
i was shaking and i sadly pooped my self...it was purple.
the nurses had to restrain me
the Dr came in and told me to settle down that it was alright
that god had had me in his arms but gave me back
bull!!
that was no god
that was no heaven
i was no where
empty darkness with shadows
their is no god!!
only darkness!!
they pronounced me dead August 4, 2010 at 6:14 pm
I'm still alive but i feel more dead.
i came back 6 min later i was alive again...if their is a god
he has a sick sense of hummer
i couldn't leave that dam hospital..
I'm getting tired of thus
is it rely worth it?
i saw so much in those 3w weeks
they felt like years
at one point the Dr said i was in a coma
my organs stopped functioning for 3.4 min.
I'm peeing purple
i was dead!!
but I'm alive?
death felt much better
it was like if a wait was taken off my shoulders
i woke up kicking
i was tyring to catch my self
it hurt so much
when i was younger the Dr said death wouldn't hurt
that it would take me and surround me like a blanket...he never told me what it was like to come back
he never said the blanket was the darkest feeling you could feel
i felt so alone
like it took a little peace of me
like my freedom of choice wasn't mine
it took what made me human
the feeling was so unbearable
it felt like a pouch in the gut that knocked me off my feet
i woke up kicking trying to catch my self
i was in the same hospital bed, the same painting on the wall ,the same feeling of hopelessness.
the white walls that surrounded me seamed to b trapping me.
i chocked on the tube in my mouth . the nurses came in after i had knocked down the iv
i didn't understand what was going on i thought i was still dead
i was shaking and i sadly pooped my self...it was purple.
the nurses had to restrain me
the Dr came in and told me to settle down that it was alright
that god had had me in his arms but gave me back
bull!!
that was no god
that was no heaven
i was no where
empty darkness with shadows
their is no god!!
only darkness!!
they pronounced me dead August 4, 2010 at 6:14 pm
I'm still alive but i feel more dead.
i came back 6 min later i was alive again...if their is a god
he has a sick sense of hummer
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