sunflower

i once fell in love with a boy who always smelld of sunflowers
we meet by chance in mid summer
i had wounderd into the deps of wounderland
in the woods of lost souls
he found me under the thick stem of a sunflower
he was like the sun
wen he aperd infrunt of me i had to sqwent to look up at him
he sat down infront of me. He looked me strait in the eyes and said "have u been forgoten little one? is that what goes on in ur head?"
i remember little of what he looked like. i hardly remember the exact date of wen he rescued me. i have long forgoten his name. but this boy , my first love saved me from more then being lost that day.

i remeber r second incounter
i was left alone for to long and had wounderd into wounderland by chance again
he spoted me and asked me what made me come this way
i closed my eyes ran in a ranome location spunaround and aound and wabled back to him
i remember saying "its ur smell. it reminds me of the big flower shaped like the sun."
he told me to close my eyes, that he would take me to his secret location
some wher in wounderland wer the sun would always b
he broughtg me to a fied of sunflowers overlooking all of wounderland it looked so bright and natury, but to me he was my sun making everything bright.

in our 3rd incounter he dance with me in the feild and we sang songs and laughed till sundown
wen my sun went away he never came back the next day
it rained and rained and i was stuck inside
i hured news that my sun had died that previus night
a snake had bitten him as he waited in the fields
with the nearest hospital being 3hr away he had no chance an older hair told me later that day

my first love was like a sunnyday.

lets play a game

lets play my friends
a game of fun
wher u try to find wher im coming from
i will tweet my location
that is ur destinaton
wer i will hide
a clue u will find

look for my sign


this u will find


but be care full
u may not like what u find
so what do u say my friends

would u like to come find me?

"im late,im late ,im terably late, will u come find me?"

i am the white rabbit

i am the white rabbit
i come back and forth from wounderland to ur world.
i c manythings u dont seam to notice
i run @ top speed
i get glimses of what ppls lifes r like
and then im back in wounderland
longing to b in the outside world
i once used to dream of what it would b like to b free
from the chains that bind me
but it seams the red queen of wounderland confinds me


come find me

"im late im late im terably late for t~"

sr. year

i found my self thinking
how lucky i am to b able to go to school
i meet a boy in the hospitaly a few days ago.
who told me his storys of wo:(
the same condition as me but his a little more savier

he lookes out of a window , not daring to dream, this boy is far gone...not by death , but by his own doing
hes to scared to leave that room
he doesnt want to feel the pain
or the lookes.
he just lays in his hospital bed...he is already dead.

school

fresh mans.........................................................so anoing
one pushed me down the stairs
just have to get back up and try to not fall again.
what i did?
i do not know.
what he got from pushing me?
i hi- 5 from some guys watching it happen.
what did i hear all threw the halls
"she isn't dead yet?
"y doesn't she just die already"
constant reminders of how much they don't like me
constant reminder of what little value my life holds to thees ppl

i have yet to meet some one who has looked me in the eyes, said it to my face,and walk away.
they all r cowards
sometimes in my mind
where i tend to b half the time,
i imagine a world free of color.
whee every thing is still.
where nothing makes a sound.
and i close my eyes and go away from that world
back into mine.
where all i c r colors blended together .
so many colors that my head spines, my heart raises, my eyes dilate,and i feel an attack,
i hold my self so i wont go limp
i tell my self over and over again
"no not now!not here!
breath breath! calm down dont pass out!
dont scream dont scream dont cry!
hold ur self dont bight ur lip to hard ull bleed!
hold the pain !its almost over hold hold hold!open your eyes!!"
and i find my self in my mind
in that world of silence and no colors. shutting my eyes tigth
taisting something iron-e in my mouth.
im bleeding again
open my eyes and ppl fling them selves away
biohazerd the freshman's call me................no anoing......

my rant of the day=~=

choice that alice made

life's like a battle
in a world where all everyone knows
is what they see in front of them
failing to realize
whats right between their noes

ppl r fed knowledge from machines
that never tell u all the truth

and war is something they all love
peace is but a memory of times where humanity was at its best

children cry with blood drenched faces
as the gun man shoots every one dead
"i wish this was all pretend"
the last thing u expect to hear in that guys head

war is something they love
its a faet they cant escape
or comprehend

but down, down, the rabbit whole every one goes
into the unknown darkness
blind to what is ahead.

in a world where life is war
and machines blind u from the truth..what would u choose?

Alice made her choice
and now shes dead

"im late im late!the queen will have my head!"

wanting while wating

im her alone in my mind every thing plays back and forth
wen i was young they told me wen we die we look as if wer sleeping
it was nothing but lies
to me he looked like an empty shell
a lifeless soulless body
growing colder by the second
what do i call this ?
this empty shell of my beloved?
how cant feel or shair my warmth.
his eyes lay closed but his wound lay open
the red string connecting us slowly fading away
he is not of this world any more
is he free?
with out pain?
would he remember me?
what is sertine about death?
would we disappear?

all thees thoughts in my head overwhelm me
i open my eyes and lift my head
wishing my life was but a dream

i look up from my haze
and all he while i fail to see a girl with the bluest eyes filled with curiosity and wounder, staring back at me.
but i am late late so very late!
no time to heist

it feels as if she is on my tail
every twist and tern
she is their
but she is close! close to the whole
will she proceed?
not knowing what lays ahead?
she jumps in to the unknown darkness.
what is her name?
i am late so very late!
what makes this blue eyed girl fallowe me so ?

i dont mind :)

i don't mind walking in the rain
i don't mind the sweet sounds as the rain drops gently hit my uncovered skin.
it makes me feel alive.
on rainy days i like taking my time to get home. i take a different way home.
where no one can tell ur crying cuz it'll just look like rain.
where in the distance, miles away , u can see the clouds in thier many shades of white and gray.
where if ur lucky,
a rainbow brightens up your day
days like this make me feel alive
they seam to take my mind off the pain :)
i guess ill miss walking home on thez days.

i want to feel truly alive one day
before i feel nothing
and slowly pass away