wish it all away

this feeling
it makes me want to pull my hair out
the feeling of nausea comes over me again, i sit and wait,
bell rings, once, twice,
im still in the same stall as before
i decide to write something in the wall

next day

im in the stall puking my guts out. i look up from the toilet seat.
some one has responded to my note
""wish it all away"
is says
"if only it was that simple" i write
i get up, the stall door swinging shut behind me.
wash up in the sink look my self in the mirror. looking at a pail messy me.
"wish it all away",i tell my reflection.
i get out and go to class

next day
traces of blood in my vomit again ,
meds not working as good as they used to
dr. says their isn't anything stronger available yet.
look up
i c some one has written back again
"isn't it?" it says
i don't know how to respond.
i scribble out my first 3 words
"not that easy"
i re-wite
"not that easy, this isn't a fairy tail. wishes don't really come true" i cap my sharpie and storm out of the stall
look my self in the mirror
im a mess
"y am i angry?" i ask my self
iim not angry at the commenter
im not angry that wishes don't come true
i don't understand
splash my face with water
rinse out my mouth
go back to class as if nothing happened

next day

avoid same stole
look around with one with paper
find my self going back to my stall.
the feeling comes over me again
stronger
red vomit spurts out of my mouth.
the horrid feeling , it Burns
wipe my mouth
look up as every thing gets spiny
" then what will you do?"
im about to pass out
it processes in my mind sec before i hit the tile floor

wake up as ppl scream "shes dead!!" they run away
my body feels so heave
i try to sit up and let the feeling pass
i here pp talking out side the restroom
"not her again"
"i don't want to go in their"
"she dead yet?"

i close my eyes with all my strength get up.
it all feels so fuzzy and spinney
write in the wall "live"

check my watch
3rd periods almost over.
look @ my self in the mirror. wipe off all the blood
a pink Whirlpool of water drains out.

leave restroom like nothing has happend